Nose bleeds, here and there.

Of all of the bizarre pregnancy symptoms, I've been having nose bleeds galore for the last few months. The most severe was in Nagpur, on a crowded railway platform when I was about to get on an overnight train. I must have looked quite pathetic - more luggage than I could manage, trying to figure out a complicated waitlisted e-ticket mess, and gushing blood. However, I could not have possibly imagined a more helpful response from everyone - the conductor immediately made sure I got the most comfortable seat in the house, cool-drink-wallahs gave me ice from their coolers, strangers waiting for the same train made sure I had a place to lie down and bought all of the nearby kiosks out of handkerchiefs, and once the train came, people whisked my luggage off to the right compartment, and checked regularly that I was settled in and comfortable.

I got another nosebleed today, while on a taxi. I was much better equipped this time around - on home turf, familiar transport, with tissues, and not nearly as serious a case. Even so, everyone on the taxi looked at me like I was a murder suspect. I got off and walked home. I suppose it's good that people have a healthy fear of contracting HIV....but what happened to compassion? It's pretty awful to be made feel even more miserable, when having nosebleeds seems like punishment enough.

Coming back to reality

After more than two months in India, wedding hopping and catching up with good friends and good food, I fly back to Johannesburg in less than a week. Usually after this much time travelling, I'm itching to get home....but right now, I'm oddly ambivalent. Perhaps because Nagpur feels about as much like home as Johannesburg does, perhaps because of all of the not-so-fun chores that are waiting for my return, from dentist visits to construction in my flat, to trying to become gainfully employed....And of course, the very unsettling dilemma of how to create a nurturing space for a baby in my current Johannesburg life will start becoming much more real. So far, in a different life on a different continent, it's been a comfortably academic question - pondering with supportive friends about choices, crime, finances, difficult relationships and returning to school all being distant curiosities to muse about over tea. From here, I feel very calm about it all. In a week, I'll need to start navigating everything. Eish!

Still, a part of me is looking forward to getting back....cooking for myself, seeing good friends I've been missing, catching the tail end of summer, getting some 'thinking' work done that's always hard on the road, and tackling all those back burner things that always build up while away.

No Happiness in India?

I've been tasked to do some of the preparation for a research trip to Bhutan to study the economics of happiness. Due to logistics of the project (and the high cost of spending time in Bhutan), India will be the launching pad for most of the work. So, in my remaining weeks in India, I'm to have some preliminary discussions with various 'relevant' people in India doing research on alternative economic development models generally, and the economics of happiness and Gross Happiness Index of Bhutan specifically.

The economics of happiness, while perhaps not a core topic of research most places, is also far from a fringe idea. Over the past 30 years, it has made the news, been discussed and criticised, and had think tanks and academic programmes founded around it. Documentaries and TED talks extolling the virtues of economic localisation use some kind of quantification of 'happiness' as a departure point. While it's not a yet a particularly cohesive field of study, there are emerging theories and debates (equality is important. So is the environment. It's harder to figure out what culture is).

So, I was enthusiastic about getting the ball rolling. The problem is, the ball game doesn't seem to interest Indian academics much. I can find virtually no evidence of work being done on the economics of happiness - or even really different models of economic development. Why not? Is there some agreed on vocabulary about 'Gandhian economics' that plays this role, and I just don't know about? Has the spurt of rapid economic growth distracted all academic discourse on economics in India? Is it considered to 'fluffy' for more cash strapped universities?

I'm quite surprised that from the intellectual home of 'Development as Freedom', more isn't being said on this. I'd welcome any leads, or insight into why they are so hard to find...

Incubating in India

I'm sure everywhere in the world has pregnancy related traditions, I'm just lucky enough to get quite a span of them in this particular incubation period. In America, the message seems to be to carry on with your normal routine, but be a bit more virtuous (exercise more, eat better).

A common thread between South Africa and India is the need to keep the right balance of 'hot and cold'. In either place, there's no sitting on the floor. However, in India, temperature extends to food as well, and I'm discouraged from a variety of 'hot' foods - papaya and ginger, for example - and stuffed with ghee instead. Happily, I'm so well cooked for that just about anything could be added or subtracted from my diet and I'd still be round and happy.

Exercise is more or less banned (beyond puddling around the terrace), as are locking and unlocking things, and things that might be 'jarring', like taking auto rickshaws, or picking up anything heavier than a newspaper. I haven't bothered to announce that when I get back to Johannesburg, I may well be packing up and moving flats, on my own....scary thought, and a post for another day.

Multinational Blob

Few things are more challenging then negotiating a pre-natal appointment in a foreign language. I have newfound respect for people who do this kind of thing every day. The process for figuring out how to get referrals and lab work done is intimidating, even with the help of the gynecologist next door! The 'normal' scheduling and testing routine is slightly different, which leads to initial results looking a bit 'odd' to lab technicians, always intimidating.

Perhaps the biggest lesson is that in India, it's illegal to tell expectant mothers the gender of their child, because selective abortions are so common. This means that the flavour of baby is going to remain a surprise, at the very least until I get back to South Africa. I've been assured that this doesn't have any impact on the baby shower being planned....you aren't supposed to get clothes for the baby before it is born anyway.