The aid blogosphere is rife with posts on SWEDOW - Stuff We Don't Want (the latest here). While I'm surrounded by professionals who will rail against the West donating its economy-distorting, supply-chain-damaging unwanted goods to Africa, I'd like to gently nudge them to think closer to home....
So now, the expectant mother, expat version of SWEDOW:
- Anything loud. I'm pretty sure bringing my sister's sons vuvuzelas during the world cup has ruined my karma on this one for life. Even so, I do not want kazoos, trumpets, or drums. Even if my unborn blob won't have the coordination to operate them for 3 years, the 5 year old next door has already done some serious eardrum damage. Yeoville's already loud enough from the outside, contributing more noise is really not necessary.
- Anything to climb on. I live in a flat. I do not have space for this plastic slide. There is a park next door.
- Your SUV-for-babies pram. I'm sure it has dutifully served many mothers and babies. Probably mothers and babies who have a different routine than I do - one that involves more storage space, better maintained pavement and less public transport.
- Your stories about medical child birth disasters. I understand that everyone knows someone who was in labour for a bazillion years, had things that weren't meant to tear ripped to shreds, fluids that are supposed to stay put leak....I'm perfectly capable of creating my own anxiety, thankyouverymuch.
- Your running commentary about my body. I do realise little blob has pretty much made this public domain....but would you go up to your non-pregnant neighbor and start making remarks about their acne, cellulite, or cleavage?
- Baby shoes. A gazillion points for cuteness - but, babies can't walk.
- Plastic things with buttons and speakers. They seem to come in more reincarnations than Buddha, but all have in common their uncanny ability to take up space, make noise in spite of broken speakers, and play the same thing over and over and over.
Lest I become too much of a curmudgeon, I'll balance it off with stuff I DO want!
- Hand me downs! I'm pretty sure there are enough infant blankets, towels, and clothes out there to swaddle the world, without me needing to buy much more of it.
- Friends! You all are fabulous with loads of sage advice and support and I don't know what I'd do without you. Your company and help maintaining my identity and sanity is wonderful.
So now, the expectant mother, expat version of SWEDOW:
- Anything loud. I'm pretty sure bringing my sister's sons vuvuzelas during the world cup has ruined my karma on this one for life. Even so, I do not want kazoos, trumpets, or drums. Even if my unborn blob won't have the coordination to operate them for 3 years, the 5 year old next door has already done some serious eardrum damage. Yeoville's already loud enough from the outside, contributing more noise is really not necessary.
- Anything to climb on. I live in a flat. I do not have space for this plastic slide. There is a park next door.
- Your SUV-for-babies pram. I'm sure it has dutifully served many mothers and babies. Probably mothers and babies who have a different routine than I do - one that involves more storage space, better maintained pavement and less public transport.
- Your stories about medical child birth disasters. I understand that everyone knows someone who was in labour for a bazillion years, had things that weren't meant to tear ripped to shreds, fluids that are supposed to stay put leak....I'm perfectly capable of creating my own anxiety, thankyouverymuch.
- Your running commentary about my body. I do realise little blob has pretty much made this public domain....but would you go up to your non-pregnant neighbor and start making remarks about their acne, cellulite, or cleavage?
- Baby shoes. A gazillion points for cuteness - but, babies can't walk.
- Plastic things with buttons and speakers. They seem to come in more reincarnations than Buddha, but all have in common their uncanny ability to take up space, make noise in spite of broken speakers, and play the same thing over and over and over.
Lest I become too much of a curmudgeon, I'll balance it off with stuff I DO want!
- Hand me downs! I'm pretty sure there are enough infant blankets, towels, and clothes out there to swaddle the world, without me needing to buy much more of it.
- Friends! You all are fabulous with loads of sage advice and support and I don't know what I'd do without you. Your company and help maintaining my identity and sanity is wonderful.
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