I got a job offer last month that I feel ridiculous about having turned down. It should have been perfect. It was a part time job. It was flexible. It paid well. I said no. At that point, I hadn't arranged child care (I still haven't), and they wanted someone to start immediately. It was for 8 months - which isn't long in the scope of my career, but seems like forever in the childhood of baby. The problem is, I'm going to have to make the decision at some point. As I'm starting to reconnect to the work world, some things I'm learning seem quite obvious:
- Leaving your child with someone else is really hard! I suppose this is to be expected. But….holy cow! It's really hard! I feel like that ought to be a sign that maybe it's not the way to go….
- One of the blessings of living in South Africa is that good quality child care is readily available, and affordable. Finding it is tricky, since crummy child care also abounds.
- Taking care of a baby is work, even when it's so fun it doesn't feel like it. It's amazing how much you can get done in the 15 minutes snatches where she hangs out on the play mat, but basically, large tasks (and scheduled meetings) have to happen after bedtime (happily, I've now entered a baby stage where there IS a bedtime!). *This* is why mothers are sleep deprived. That may get better when she has a nap schedule? Or a nanny...
- I feel like I'm in a bit of a chicken and egg situation. I can't make arrangements to work without child care, and I can't arrange child care without knowing what my work arrangements will be like. At the moment, I have a corps of babysitters that are great for occasional gap-stopping, but nobody who's slated to come on a regular basis. Obviously, that suits me for the time being, but won't as I step up work commitments.
- I want to raise my own child. And I want to work. It seems like this is just not done. What a bizarre world we live in!
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