Statistics and last names

Like a hefty chunk of South Africans, I am unmarried, and soon to become a mother. According to a random website, only 35% of South African children were living with both of their biological parents in 2008. There are all the familiar explanations of AIDs, the migrant labour system, poverty, etc...Still, it's hard not to feel like I'm becoming a statistic, getting caught up in a stream of the dark underbelly of a society that is inspiring, exhilarating - and unquestionably difficult to swallow.

So, sorting out what this means for me one step at a time...the baby's father pushed very strongly to give the kid his last name. We initially spoke enthusiastically of creating a new last name, but when it came down to it, he wanted to pass his name on. Being typically conflict averse, particularly around such loaded topics, I agreed.

Now, I'm having second thoughts. Probably not strong enough second thoughts that I'll bother to argue, but perhaps strong enough that I'll keep thinking about where my discomfort is coming from for awhile. There are various dimensions of it I can identify at the moment:

• The practical. Due to the logistics of our lives, I am definitely the one more likely to be travelling internationally with the kid, alone. Rumour has it this can be complicated with divergent last names. Why not at least make our lives equally complicated?
• The feminist. Why is it that the father's last name is the default? Particularly if the kid'll be living with the mother? Wouldn't it be a favor to society to make little symbolic inroads against patriarchy wherever possible?
• The emotional. I have no particular attachment to passing on my last name. He, apparently, does. So, he should get this one, right? The problem is, I feel like instead of being some sort of positive demonstration of family connectivity (which I'm sure it could be, in a different family setup), this is more an invasive stamp of ownership....bad for all of us. But, I also might be imagining things.
• The aesthetic. I don't particularly like his last name; it's very boring, and excludes a lot of my favorite first name candidates. Is that a silly thing to consider?

The conclusion? No clue. Life isn't fair, and South Africa is a good place to live for discovering how to live with it?